So
you wonder what it’s like to play music for a living.
A
Typical Gig on New Year’s Eve and it's all True:
First you
download the directions from map quest - very reliable but you still get lost.
Luckily you
thought to leave three hours before start time, never mind the 75 mile drive
(
one
way
).
Thanks to cell
phones, you can call others in the band for directions. They followed the
very
same instructions you
provided
and
they've already
arrived!
The gig turns
out to be for 30 people. You
show up with
‘dangerously unregulated’ sound capacity.
The venue is in
a neighborhood with no streetlights and it’s dark
as
you
off
load
your
gear.
The
street
smells
like
it
is
newly
paved.
It
is a short
distance
to
the
front
door, but the
driveway
is covered with three inches of gravel
(
Chattahoochee
).
The carts can’t roll …
they drag… and
create pretty fair sized trenches.
Suddenly you
notice
something
clings
to the bottom of your shoe. You think
it’s a bit of
gravel… but no, the heel of your left
shoe has
crumbled. Bits of your shoe are strewn
across
the
floor
behind. Oh my! It's NYE! You’re still off-loading the gear and
gravel
is
sticking to
your
recently absent heel.
You think
'How could this
happen'? They were fine when I left
the house! You think… "At least it’s only the one shoe!"
Then you discover
that
you’re no longer walking lopsided because the other
heel
has gone too!
Residue
from
the
newly
paved
tarmac
has
dissolved
your
heels!
You leave a black powdery trail everywhere you travel and straight through the
residence as well.
All night.
Everyone in the
crowd speaks German and they ‘sank you’ effusively. They ask if you can start 35
minutes early. “Sure no problem,”
you say, “just let us finish bringing in the gear.” On the
next
trip
you find your cell phone on the floor
and you never
noticed
it
to
fall. It happens.
The band starts without you because your
guitar
isn't
tuned. You jack-in
and suddenly discover
that
one
9V
power supply has gone bad. There’s no
choice but to do the gig without this effect pedal. There’s no
spare
power
supply
or
battery. If only you still had your shoes...?
The first set
is 90 minutes long and the keyboard microphone still
isn’t working!
Some tunes
you
don't
know
well
and try to
read
the
chart. But the
lite
breeze
keeps blowing the
chart off
your
music
stand. Party streamers have littered the floor.
You see them at your feet and come to realize that if this gig
doesn’t end soon you’ll be standing in a trash pile of
powdered
shoe
and
party
streamer.
The
dance floor is
very small and
guests
repeatedly
bang into the head stock of your
guitar. It’s
rather
like standing on a cutting board while someone
chops a salad! A short speech
ensues and you stand around awkwardly while everyone
laughs or
sighs
(
in
German
). Pretty soon you just start to join in
the
applause
regardless
of
whatever
is
being
said. Momentary panic ensues when a few guys threaten to
heave a woman and her chair into the pool. The splash would have
drenched the band completely especially the keys!
None
the
less
this crowd loves
the band! You finish having played 35 minutes overtime for free. You
thank the crowd and play the final tune, then someone comes up to request
'
I
Left my Heart in San Francisco'. During the load
out you
discover
a speaker stand has
become
lodged inside
one
speaker
bottom and it won’t come
loose. Three trips later you’re out
the door. It’s now 1:40 am
and you still have
that
75
mile
drive
to get
back
home.
The ride
home is peppered with flashing lights as police clean up the
drunks and the crashes. Expressway traffic is jammed in a few
places. Finally around 3:30 am you arrive home. A party of
local
residents is just ebbing in
your
parking area. You leave most of
the gear in the
van
till
tomorrow. You made it.
Thank
you
and
good
night!
PS
- Everyone adoreD the flute player.
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